Thursday, March 5, 2009

The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

In this book, Gary Chapman talks about five different ways people define love or five things that make them feel loved, namely: spending quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, acts of service, physical touch. It is important to note that we are all different and the thing which makes me feel loved may not be true for my husband and vice versa. I think my top love language is spending quality time with him, while his I think, would be acts of service. He said he feels loved when I cook for him and do things for him. While I feel loved when he spends time with me listening to me and giving me undivided attention.

The principles discussed in this book, according to Chapman are not only helpful for husbands and wives but also for other relationships as well, like between parents and their kids.

Find out which of the following makes your love tank full, what makes you feel loved, then ask your lovey which one makes him/her feel loved:

Quality time - you like undivided attention, you like doing an activity or going places together, spending time together, quality conversation

Words of Affirmation - words of appreciation, expressed in simple, straightforward statements - hearing words like: You look very nice in that dress! ; I appreciate your doing that for me. ; Thank you for the delicious meal! ; encouraging words ; kind words ; humble words - making requests, not demands

Receiving gifts - it's not the amount of the gift but the fact that you are remembered and loved, it is a reminder of love - receiving tokens or gifts, bought or made, gift of physical presence, especially in times of crisis

Acts of Service - your mate does the chores and other things to please you or to express his/her love for you

Physical touch - lots of hugs and kisses, or simply touching to know he/she is there for you

What is your love language? Please let me know if you have questions. I am not an expert but I may have some idea. Our friends here are welcome to add something too!

1 comment:

  1. This is an outstanding book I highly recommend for all couples! I found out my receiving love language is a combination of physical touch and words of affirmation, and I express my love in acts of service and especially physical touch. My late wife and I read it together, but she died 4 years ago. My new wife and I will be reading it together soon, as well.